For the month of July, my birthday month, I decided to debut a coffee mug each day. Some where gifts and others I already had. It was fun and shows just how much I LOVE coffee!
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I have been dreading the arrival of May for two reasons; one was Elvis' due date and the other was Mother's Day. I had mixed emotions about both events and it really didn't help that they were two consecutive days, May 12, Mother's Day and May 13, baby boy's due date.
Well, yesterday I 'celebrated' the first one. We all gathered at my mom's house. My mom, my two sisters, and my sister-in-law all had their children in tow. It is a strange feeling to feel like a mother without have any little ones to wrap your arms around or point out in pride. My family is and always has been so supportive and validating. They all got together and picked out a necklace for me. When I opened the little brown gift box and saw his name I cried. And I sobbed as I went around the room hugging and squeezing all my family. I knew they would likely get me a gift but I didn't know that it would be exactly what I had been wanting to purchase for myself. I was so happy and relieved because I had been trying to decide which one to pick but my beautiful family picked it for me...and it was perfect! It has Elvis' name and an owl etched into it with his birthstone dangling next to them. It means a lot to me because I now have his name around my neck, it helps it to feel more real, like I have something to show off now. Today is sort of the last day of Elvis' chapter, not his story, but end of my pregnancy with him, real and daydreamed. Even after he was born I set myself on hold for him. I knew he still belonged in my womb so I made no great attempts to fill his spot. I spent many days imaging how huge my belly would be and thinking how I should not be able to cuddle my husband so easily. In some ways getting through today will be relieving, like I won't betray him by getting pregnant again or bringing another child into our lives. I wish today could have ended with a long laborious delivery and a screaming baby boy in my arms, hours of visitors, and then finally a jubilant silence as our little family rests... but that is not how this day will go. Nor any day soon. This scenario will likely never play out this way. That's okay...I got my birth story and I got my son. I will never lose those memories and I will never lose the overwhelming love that I have for my forever baby, Elvis. I will be posting the rest of my son's story on here in the next few days. Specifically, I will be talking about Chorioamnionitis (the infection that caused me to lose my pregnancy) and my delivery of my son, Elvis. Currently, I am working on my blogs and editing. Sorry for the delay.
Okay, so I am a bit of a naturalist when it comes to my body. I am very aware of what I eat and what is in my food. I also like to be very natural when it comes to medications, vitamins, and really just anything that is going to go into or is going to touch my body. So on a quest to be environmentally sound and avoid unnecessary chemicals I have found a few unique products. Some of these I use, some I am planning on trying, and others are just...interesting...
Alternative ways of thinking have always existed but thanks to the handy dandy internet we now have access to products we never knew existed. Products like the Diva Cup. According to their website Diva Cups have been around since the 1930s, though I am just learning about them now, and an economical choice in the arena of feminine products... "The Diva Cup menstrual cup is a revolutionary alternative to tampons and pads. Around since the 1930s, this concept has been used worldwide for decades. As the Diva Cup eliminates the inconvenience of disposable products in all their various sizes and absorbencies, it is the MOST environmentally responsible feminine hygiene choice as it is completely reusable. Some great things about the Diva Cup;
Another option are the reusable menstraul pads by Mama Cloth. These are all natural and organic fabric pads or pantyliners. They come in a variety of fabric and colors and you just throw them in the wash after each use. Very similar to cloth diapering but for an adult woman. http://www.mamaclothonline.com/ That brings me to these next products. Many of you were likely cloth diapered as a baby, or I am just aging myself here, but either way that used to be the way to do it. Then we moved to the diapers you find in stores today, not good for the environment or your pocket book. Here are some companies who are bringing the cloth diaper trend back... http://www.cottonbabies.com/ and... http://www.gdiapers.com/ Now for the subject of baby making (what else are you going to cloth diaper?). These lubricants are environmentally friendly, not tested on animals, and one of the only companies to have a specific formula just for baby making sex. It is unique compared to most off the shelf lubricants that can actually do harm to sperm and many times actually adgitate a woman's sensitive bits. http://www.yesyesyes.org/ most importantly... http://www.yesyesyes.org/yesbaby.htm I hope you enjoyed that list of unique products! I will try to add more as I discover them and share them with you. Also, I am adding a recipe page very soon because I LOVE to cook and create new delicious and amazing food. I do believe we are made up of what we eat and the way we choose our diets and foods says a lot about our character. So I woke up today with the "Next 30 Years" song in my head. I thought it was odd, then I realized, "Oh my god...I am turning 3O in July!"
Yeah, so that is happening. I used to be excited when I thought about turning 30 (I know I'm strange) but now I am kind of freaking out. I never really had a life plan, and I realize that you can't plan on anything for certain, I just feel as though my life should be on a different course. Maybe its because I am attending college for the second time around, or because I lost my son, or just because everyone freaks out about the big 3- 0-. I am not sure but I am finding myself questioning everything right now. I hate not having control and getting older is definitely out of my range of control. So, all I can do is attempt to embrace it. Just let it happen and be at least a little excited about it like I always imagined I would. I often still get mistaken me for a much younger person so I guess age is just a number. It won't stop me from continuing in whatever direction I choose and it won't change the way the world views me (especially if they don't know my real age). So what is the big deal? I don't know. Well, I still have exactly 6 months until my birthday. In the meantime I am going to work on the things I can control (kind of) like my health and fitness, my studies, and my relationships with my loved ones. I will allow these to lead me into my 30s and let them define me instead of a number. (While still freaking out a little :) Happy St. Patrick's Day all! Today, 4 years ago Ray and I got the keys to our first home and it is my parent's dating anniversary. St. Patrick's day is also the day we had hoped to have our very first baby shower for Elvis. I am a good portion Irish so this day seemed perfect to celebrate our little one. I would have been almost 32 weeks today. Instead I will spend the day reflecting on my son and the what could have been but also the precious time we did get with him.
I was admitted to the hospital just before midnight on Sunday, November 25 2012. I spent several hours in the triage room on the labor and delivery floor undergoing examinations and test to confirm that the delivery of my son was imminent. The doctors confirmed that my water had indeed broke and I had lost practically all of my amniotic fluid. Since I was only 16 weeks there was no way to save the baby. There was no way that I could make it another two months, another 8 weeks, to the point that babies are deemed viable. Even if he could miraculously live that long, he would not have been able to develop properly with no amniotic fluid and would be unable to move without the bag of water to keep the uterus from squishing him. My husband asked a million questions and kept pleading for any hope from the doctors but they were straightforward. With tears in their eyes, they told us repeatedly that nothing could be done and that I must deliver our son in the next few hours to avoid serious complications for myself from the infection already thriving in my uterus. We were moved to a quiet wing on the labor and delivery ward and put in an actual birthing room, room 316. I later realized that this was the same room my niece had been born in earlier that year in April, who shared Elvis' due date. How twisted life can be sometimes. I was told to try and rest and the induction would begin around 9am. First off, resting in a hospital is impossible when they are checking your vitals and temperature every hour but then knowing what you are waiting for is like a waking nightmare. I never slept that day. One by one my family began to arrive as we hit the early morning hours. My mom called my eldest sister, and she was able to call my other sister and so on. By the time they came to administer my first round of inducing medications, at 9am, my whole family was there and my very best friend. All my siblings had brought their spouses and my mom and dad were there and my friend Jackie. I kept thinking this is how I had wanted it to be when he was born but I wanted a happier ending than what I knew was in store. As the drugs slowly began to take effect, Ray and I had to discuss whether we would want to see our baby after delivery, and would we want to hold him and have pictures taken. We were both so scared. We had no idea how developed he would be and if we could even really touch him. I said I definitely wanted to see and hold him but Ray was not sure. He had tears in his eyes as he said, " I really don't think I can..." I told him he did not have to do anything but I said you do not want to leave with any regrets. " This is all we get." I told him. They came in again around 11am to do another round of the tablets. They had previously inserted them near my cervix but they said the progression was going very slow and that orally might work quicker. Even though I was on a steady dose of antibiotics my temperature was rising at this point and doctors were anxious to get the baby delivered. I on the other hand was terrified and knew I wasn't ready but I also knew I would never be ready for the next step. I tried to casually chat with my visitors to keep myself calm as I held the oral tablet in my cheek, as instructed. Within 20 minutes I began have contractions. They quickly escalated and I was soon needing to breath through them. I held anyone's hand who would offer it and just focused on getting through each contraction. I would not have to fully dilate but I would need to get to about 6 centimeters. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I turned it down. I did not really want any drugs, I just wanted to experience labor, a right I felt I had earned. I was happy it hurt because then I knew it was real, that he was real. I was not long before the contractions were intense and coming very quickly. I no longer spoke, I just breathed. I was in awe of the pain and intensity but was happy to be in it. This was my birth story, mine. Suddenly, I could feel him slide into the birth canal. I instinctively flexed and did not let him leave me. "He is here. Get the nurse." I told my family. I did not dare cry because I did not want him to get pushed out. The nurse came in and lifted the blanket and I finally released him. He was out and my heart was pounding. I couldn't see him yet with my knees up and the blanket draped over them. Everyone was just sitting quietly. Ray, who had been by my side through all of it, squeezed me and began to sob. I could tell how scared he was to see our baby. I said you don't have to look but you can't leave me. The nurse took about two minutes pulling him out and readying the umbilical cord. My sister told me later that she could see him moving just a little. It breaks my heart to think about him feeling the cold air and hands all over his little body. Finally, the nurse was ready and asked if I wanted to hold him. I nodded with tears filling my eyes and my heart beating out of my chest. He was gently wrapped in a hospital towel as she handed him to me. He was so much bigger than I expected and he looked like...a baby. He was perfect! He had all his parts, including the ones that let us know for the first time that we had a son. We had never gotten to his anatomy scan but that whole day I had known he was a boy. I just stared as the little being in my hands for a long time. My family snapped lots of photos, I am so thankful they did because at that moment I could not think. I just looked at him and cried and smiled and felt an incredible wave of a variety of emotions. I finally turned to Ray who had at first buried his head in my shoulder when he saw our son coming but now he was just staring with me at our baby. I thought as he lay there so still that he had already passed. But as I touched his hand, after not more than a minute, I swear he pulled away from me a little. My eyes were so blurred, though, that I was not sure. Then a moment later his mouth open just a bit and then closed and I knew he was gone. Everyone slowly worked there way over to us and just stared at him in wonder. He was beautiful and it shocked every body. None of us knew what to expect from a him being so very early but there he was perfectly formed into a miniature baby. His skin was still very red, almost purple, but every other bit of him was as any other baby. He even looked SO much like Ray I could not believe it! I held him all day barely letting anyone else hold him but I beamed with pride when they did. My body had made this amazing being and I was so proud of how big and perfect he really was. We stayed the night at the hospital. I did not sleep at all. I just laid with him in bed touching his body and trying to memorize every bit knowing I would have to say goodbye soon. I even got up in the middle of the night and rocked him in the rocking chair and felt his little body on my chest. I tried to make memories that I could hold onto. I knew he was already gone but I could not let him go. The nurses continued to check me all through the night and by morning my fever had broke. The day he was born and the day following were so sunny. Ray and I sat near the window most of the next day taking in our last moments with our son. We smiled and cried and held him and took a few more pictures. We had not realized that the worst part was yet to come, saying goodbye forever. As it became evening we knew it was time to let him go. His body was cold and stiffing. I knew this was his way of showing us that he was already gone. My mom and my two sisters sat with us as we sobbed and tried to say find a way to let him go. I wrapped him in his tiny blanket one more time. As I finished I began to whale uncontrollably and my legs began to give. Ray held me up as we took our last pictures with him and called for the nurse to take him away. I sat on the bed and stared as she rolled him away in the hospital cradle. I tried again to not cry so I could absorb every last visual moment. After he was taken I curled up in the hospital bed and cried. My family loaded the car as I laid there. The nurse came and wheeled me out of the hospital, I tried not to look at the happy families in the waiting room as we made it out to the car. The drive home was quiet and surreal. Leaving the hospital made it all seem like a dream but it wasn't, this was our life now. And over the next few months we would have to try to create a new normal for ourselves without our baby. Elvis Davanzo born November 26, 2012 at 1:20pm. He weighed 3 oz and was 6.5 inches long at 16 weeks gestation. He lived for 1 minute according to his death certificate but he will live a lifetime in our hearts. Our love crosses all universes, it cannot be measured. Love forever ~ Mom & Dad I woke up in tears today thinking about my little boy. So I feel like this is a good time to share his story.
I found out Saturday, September 15th 2012, at 6:30am that I was pregnant for the first time ever! After trying for 5 years exactly I finally got my miracle! I was already more than a week late when I tested. I scheduled a blood test for the following Tuesday with my fertility specialist (who I didn't even need apparently) just to confirm. Meanwhile, I of course took 3 more pregnancy tests because I still could not believe that it finally happened. I went in to have my blood drawn two hours before the office closed. The nurses were so surprised to see me and said they would call with the results before they closed that day at 5pm. Ray and I waited by the phone until 5 and they still hadn't called. I was starting to get upset thinking they forgot about me. I even tried to call them but it went to voice mail. At 5:45pm they finally called. I was so nervous and half expecting them to say it was a fluke and I was not pregnant after all. Instead they said, "Sorry it took so long we had to test your blood twice." Apparently I had such high levels of HCG that they had to dilute it and retest. They told me I must be further along than I thought and that I could come in for an ultrasound on Thursday to see the baby!! I could not believe it. Not only was I pregnant but I had been pregnant for a least a few weeks and had no idea. Thursday went perfectly. My specialist was so thorough and very encouraging. As soon as she began the ultrasound we could see a little sac and 'bean'. She quickly played the baby's heartbeat and said it was very healthy. I was in shock, this was actually happening, I was actually seeing MY baby! She said I was measuring around 6 weeks already and it hadn't even been a week since I tested! We continued to have weekly ultrasounds until I was 9 weeks and then she said it was time to move to an OBGYN where I would stay until I had the baby. It this point they baby looked like a little gummy bear. We decided on OHSU because they have a midwifery program where I could have a natural pregnancy and labor but would still have immediate access to the latest medical assistance if necessary. I did my intake and paperwork at 9 weeks and got scheduled for a ultrasound and checkup at 12 weeks. Ray could not make it to the 12 week appointment so I took my sister, Shawna. I was beside her every minute of her pregnancy with my nephew and wanted the same closeness during mine. I met my new doctor, Dr. Nichols, and he was great and straight forward. He said that we would do the ultrasound right away, since that is what everyone wants anyway, and then I could ask him questions afterward. Again, as soon as the ultrasound started I could see the baby. This time it looked like a real baby. Head, arms, legs, belly, FINGERS and TOES! The baby was going crazy and nuzzling into my uterus. It flipped back and forth and waved its arms all around. HOLY COW! What an active baby! Shawna watched me watching the baby and just cried. Through her tears she said this was the happiest she had ever seen me. I tried to not cry too much because I wanted a clear view of all that was happening and just to absorb every moment of my baby on the screen. The doctor did measurements and said that I was measuring at 13 weeks!!! I was already out of my first trimester and it was going so fast! I was so proud of my big, healthy baby. It was only a few days after my appointment that I began to feel our baby move. It started as just subtle flutters that I could tell were not regular gas or stomach gurgles. And then on the day before my nephews birthday, I felt a big flip! I was getting excited for the big kicks I knew would be coming and could not wait until Ray could feel them too! We announced our pregnancy later that week to the rest of our friends and extended family. They were ecstatic and thrilled for us. Little did we know that we would only share this experience with them for another 4 weeks. We scheduled a road trip for the 2nd week in November to go visit Ray's family in Colorado. We slept in the car the first night on our way there and stayed with his sister for a few days then drove back and again slept in the car the night before we got home. When we got home from our trip I physically was in a lot of pain and very tired out from all the driving and 'sleeping' in vehicles. I ached a lot in my stomach, back and hips but I was also growing very fast so I just figured it was normal. I know pain during pregnancy can be normal but looking back my pain was very intense. Once home I had to catch up on quite a bit of school work and felt pretty stressed about missing classes. I spent the next two weeks feeling frantic and just doing assignment after assignment. But the term would be over soon and I thought I will focus on myself and my pregnancy in just 3 more weeks. Looking back I wish I would have realized how trivial it all was. The Monday before Thanksgiving I had some spotting and unusual (TMI ahead) green discharge. I called hospital and spoke with a nurse. She assured me that this was common and that unless I had a fever or severe pain or heavy bleeding that it was nothing to worry about. I felt very uneasy still after talking to her but the spotting subsided for the most part and I was managing with my usual pain pretty well. Then on Thursday, Thanksgiving, I had a bit more spotting and mentioned it to my mom. She was very concerned and told me I needed to call them again and see if they would let me get checked out. So on Friday I called and spoke with a different nurse and was again told that it all was very common, not to worry, and since I had an appointment scheduled on Monday they did not think I needed to come in. Again, Friday I had more spotting and it seemed very watery. However, Friday was also the day I felt my baby kick for the first time. I felt three strong thumps toward the top of my uterus. It was amazing to feel just how strong our baby was! But the spotting continued off and on through Saturday and Sunday. All I wanted to do was make it to my appointment on Monday. I felt so scared but I did not have any of the big warning signs that the nurses told me about so I did not think to go to the ER. I just hoped and prayed that everything would be fine at my appointment. But I never made it to my Monday appointment. On Sunday night, after a small get together with Ray's family, I headed to bed. As I laid there drifting off I suddenly felt as though I had peed myself. I went into the bathroom and my underwear were soaked. I somehow convinced myself that I must have peed and changed my underwear. After laying down another gush of fluid soaked my underwear again. At this point I knew and my heart sank. This was not urine, it was amniotic fluid. I went in the bathroom to see how bad it was and realized so much had come out. I cried for Ray and told him that we needed to go to the hospital right away. As he got ready I just sat on the bed and sobbed. I knew it was over. I had read so many stories during my struggles through infertility that I knew we were headed down a path with a horrible ending. At the hospital my suspicions were confirmed. They tested the fluid to be sure and said I had lost all of my amniotic fluid. They did one last ultrasound to see if my baby was still alive. It was. The baby's heart was still beating and their was nothing I could do to save our baby. During all the testing they confirmed that I had a horrible infection inside my uterus and that it was inflammation that broke my water. The only way to save me at this point was for me to deliver my baby right away. It was like a nightmare that I still cannot wake up from. My mom was already at the hospital with my youngest brother who's appendix had ruptured the day before. Ray left the room to call her and she rushed to me. She just burst into the triage room and cradled me and sobbed with me. I was put in a quiet area of the labor and delivery ward and told I would need to begin the process to deliver the baby in the next few hours. I have never been so scared and hurt in my entire life and I still had to go through the process of pushing out my baby who had no chance of survival outside of my body and now inside as well. Just before the summer of 2007 Ray and I discussed, for the first time really, having children. I had always figured that I did not want children mostly because I was afraid I would not make the best mother and I knew that you have to make a lot of accommodations to your life when you become a parent. However, that year I had found myself working at my mother's preschool and attending massage school. I knew I would graduate by the end of the year and had grown comfortable with my ability to interact and care for children. Working with my mother I found I was actually quite good at it.
At almost 24 years old I made the decision that children would definitely be in my future. Now to tell Ray... When I sat down with him and told him that I would like to start trying for a baby soon he was... thrilled actually. He had known that I had not previously wanted to and just assumed I would not change my mind. He had wanted children but never made a fuss about it to me and married me anyway despite knowing my opposing stance on the subject. So, there we were planning it all out. We both were attending massage school and would graduate that December. We decided to start trying in September, assuming it would take a few months, and were expecting a baby to arrive in our lives sometime in 2008. Well, you know that saying "If you want to hear God laugh tell him you plans." That has been the story of our lives... We went along with our plan and excitedly and nervously began our journey to parenthood. The first two months passed and still no pregnancy but we were not concerned. In fact, we both had pretty fertile families and knew it wouldn't be much longer before success. As we finished out the year and graduated from massage school we were still very optimistic. But when I still was not pregnant in January I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. I knew it had only been four months of trying but I could not shake the feeling that this was never going to happen. We knew the typical trying time was around a year for a young couple, such as ourselves, before you could see a fertility specialist. And many things that I read said 80% of couples conceive within the first year of trying. So, we tried... for over a year. Once we reached almost a year and a half we went to the doctor. Meanwhile, everyone was starting to wonder if when we were going to extend our family since we had been married for four years. We had not told anyone we were trying because, like most people, we were hoping to surprise our friends and family. We tried to stay coy not wanted to tell everyone that we were having issues and we were still holding out for a surprise, even for ourselves. Off to the doctor we went. We started with our family doctor, not wanting to over-exaggerate our situation, I think mostly to keep ourselves calm. She ran tests on us both and concluded that I most likely had a progesterone deficiency. She referred us to OHSU where we saw the head fertility specialist. He prescribed me clomid and told me that I needed to follow up with different departments to help diagnose any potential issues. We were not really given any information on who to follow up with or where to go next so I just took the clomid and hoped for the best. I had a four month prescription of it and took it all for months when directed but I never got a positive test. I was so disappointed. I thought being 25 years old and taking fertility meds I would just get insta-pregnant maybe even with twins. But, sadly no, it did not work the miracle I was hoping for. We felt confused and uneducated about the whole process and really felt that OHSU had just prescribed drugs and dismissed us because we were still young. Time passed and we got busy with our life and new careers as massage therapist, though neither of us quit our old jobs. We were busy a lot but we never stopped trying for a little Davanzo. By the beginning of 2011 we were more than ready to get serious about having a baby in some way. We slowly started educating ourselves about adoption. We attended a few informational seminars and were motivated to get started. We still never stopped trying to get pregnant but we thought we would like to go after something tangible and if we get blessed through the avenues of adoption and pregnancy that would be great. In September of 2011 we learned that my younger brother and sister in law were expecting their first child in May of 2012. We had arranged for them to move in with us before learning of their pregnancy. We went ahead and became roommates even though it was very tough for us emotionally to get front row seats to their every milestone and excitement. But we were happy for them and knowing what it is like to not have that joy we would not wish our troubles on anyone. Their stay with us lit a fire under our asses and made us get way more serious about accomplishing our goal of becoming parents. By March 2012 my brother and his wife were preparing to move into their own place with the baby due in May. And Ray and I were enrolled in adoption classes and had once again began to see a fertility specialist. We picked a small office that was close to us and the doctor was amazing. She was so thorough and walked us through all the test and procedure options. We again started with clomid once my blood work came back normal. We did IUIs along with the clomid as well as a mid cycle trigger shot (makes sure your body releases an egg) for three consecutive months. Still no luck. We were headed into our fifth year of trying and still had never achieved a pregnancy and I had not even had an early miscarriage, just nothing. We decided to spend a few months collecting ourselves finacially and emotionally and really focuses on our adoption path. We finished all the necessary classes, paperwork and even got a home-study over the next 6 months. Meanwhile my niece was born three weeks early, on April 22, and we were getting excited to be at the tail end of our adoption process. The summer was busy and fun and my oldest sister was getting married September 1st 2012. We had a blast helping plan and create all the details and decor for the big day. I was so busy with that and then got some terrible news at the beginning of August. My 9 year old lab mix was diagnosed with an aggressive form of lymphoma and without treatment had very little time left. He had been sprightly and playful a few days before I had found a large lump under his jaw. It was obvious to the vet immediately but she ran test anyway and delivered the diagnosis. We were devastated Because he was so energetic and youthful we decided it was not his time yet and began chemotherapy treatment. I took him with me everywhere, even to work on wedding crafts with my family. The big day rolled around and my sister had an amazing ceremony and reception. We all drank and ate and partied till midnight. It was beautiful. My friend also had a house warming/birthday party the next weekend and again we ate and drank and celebrated peoples milestones. The day, which was a Saturday, I realized I had not yet started my period. It was supposed to start Friday, the day of the house warming (after 5 years of trying you can pinpoint things to the exact day) but it hadn't yet. Since I had been one or two days late before so I dismissed it and refused to get my hopes up. Each day passed and I had no signs of my period but I just thought that my body was all screwed up and it was just doing one more thing that would hinder me ever getting pregnant. By Friday I wanted to take a pregnancy test but in the past whenever I would test my period would always come the next day. So I decided to hold out one more day. I did not tell Ray I was late that month because I was tired of disappointing him. I barely slept Friday night. I laid there thinking about me possibly being pregnant and could just feel my heart pounding at the very thought of it. I still doubted it but could not think of a better reason for me to be 8 days late. I got up at 6:30am and snuck into the bathroom to test. I quietly open the box and test. I peed on the stick and went to set it on the counter to wait for it to 'develop' while I finished on the toilet. As I brought the test up and was about to set it down I realized it was already positive...Darker than the control line Positive! I started shaking. I had never seen a positive on my tests, never. I just stared for a few minutes, half smirking, my heart was beating furiously as I thought about telling Ray. I opened the bathroom door and said, "Ray...will you come here a minute?" Never have I seen him get out of bed so fast! He knew at that moment what I was up to. He joined me in the bathroom and we just stood there for 10 minutes just staring and saying, "Oh my God..." We never thought this day would come and now that it had we didn't even know how to convince ourselves it was real. We crawled back in bed and spent the day cuddling, freaking out, and smiling. We were finally going to have a baby... We will be celebrating our 9 year wedding anniversary this summer! Wow, time has flown. I can't imagine a better man who is so perfectly suited to me. I know that I have been blessed to have found the kind of relationship that many will never get to experience.
We have talked about doing a second honeymoon for our 10 year anniversary. I am excited to start planning. We went to Puerto Vallarta or our first honeymoon. It was July and so hot but we took advantage of the siestas. Since it was so hot there was not really any Americans, the town was very quiet. It was wonderful! We got caught in a few warm downpours and cooled our cervezas in front of the air conditioner. Maybe we will return there for the second honeymoon. So many possibilities..........who knows? |